Just got back from watching Blood Diamond, its 4:30 in the morning and a question gripped my mind. Why do we do the things that we do – everyday in life?

I look at the 80-year-old sitting at the underpass selling tissue paper and wonder – would he have had a good life? This guy was at the prime of his life when my country was still run by the British, a time when Gandhi (ji) was making news. Now at this age – would he be smiling when he goes to sleep everyday, or feeling bad and alone when he wakes up and goes to work?

Why do we do the things that we do – every day? What is the end purpose of what we do?

Is it money and everything money can buy? Is it grinding 20 years of your life now, so you can afford to live the next 20 in money-bought-comforts? Is it financial freedom, i.e. no-dues-to-the-world or now-i-can-easily-access-comforts, or equally implied state of I-don’t-need-comforts?

Is it for respect and recognition- to be recognized by your friends and family, and be respected by your peers and strangers? What is interesting is that this is in many ways similar to a school boy carving his name on the desk at which he sits, so others will read it and wonder who the man is. A fresh coat of paint, and the name is nowhere to be seen. So social image , or, “others will respect me” as a purpose of life is a very short-lived goal. In any case, I don’t think that was the “purpose” for many BIG people whom we now know and respect – but a recognition that we give them for other things that they had made as their purpose in life.

Is it to experience the feeling of love, to know what it feels to be loved and cared for by another mortal and probably have kids together? The feeling that there is someone who cares about you more than you yourself do – also brings a feeling of existential satisfaction, that your life matters – to someone who thinks well and high about you, and when you are with this person, the world is so much nicer.

Or is it for the next generation? For bringing up your own kids in better circumstances than you yourself were in – as you grew up, so they might do something great? Which is understandable and is exactly what many people do, but the “purpose of your life” as a mere bridge to the next generation is like postponing your life’s purpose to infinity- since then, the expectation from the next generation cannot be any more than being the bridge to the next-next generation.

Is it for happiness? In my understanding, happiness is a state of balance between what-we-desire and what-we-have. However, we know there is no limit to what-we-desire, and there clearly is a definite limit to what-we-can-have, therefore, happiness is a myth for all, but for people without desires.

Majority, i.e. people who are neck deep in their busy social life would agree, that happiness is a combination of financial, physical and social well-being (the social well-being very often dependent on financial well-being). However then, Happiness being the purpose of life sounds shallow and meaningless as it is merely means to drag you through life without much discomfort.

There are some exceptions I feel – people who have worked and are working to make this world a better place have done very meaningful things, making medical, technological, social and political breakthroughs that save lives and make many of the things possible today and are all very meaningful.

Thinking very objectively – Do you know your great-grandfather? Do you think anyone will remember you when your great-grandchild goes to college?

Are we living life for the sake of living? Or is our goal to live as long as we can? Is the life on this planet a luxury that we should make the best of? Or a chance given to us to make a difference to the way life on this planet will evolve? Should we try at all? Or just focus on our bank accounts and social image?

Monk Says: You earn, you spend, you worry, you strain, you fight, you borrow, you try to buy happiness, you fail, you’re sick by the time you’re done earning. Me? I dont earn, I dont spend. I’m just calm and happy.

Note: Unoriginal post, however, if you’ve been in shit before – you’d appreciate the gravity and not just the humor of this post. Read on…

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,t began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug it out and ate it.

Management Lesson?
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!!!!!

Afterlife. Aliens. God. Miracles.

Are we wise enough to understand them? Do penguins speculate nuclear science?

Courtesy: Cameroon from House

In related news, we found cure for cancer. Well, at least we made it this far. Yet another thing that haunted us for years, and now ~solved.

Fascinated by the idea of doing a startup? Got an excellent idea that will change the world? Inspired by Apple and Google? Don't just look at the bright side of the story. There is more than what you're books and lecturers will tell you. Listen to entrepreneurs. Listen to ones who have succeded and those who have failed. Know this fact – there are a 1000 failed startups for each success story.

Here's your test to see if you have it in you.

Grass on the other side: A decent job in a respected company will pay your bills, will pay your rent and food. It will also let you spend on entertainment, and let you have a social life. Of course, there wont be any BIG rewards normally, and life will be pretty monotonous if you hate what you are doing. You will hate mondays and love fridays. But your life will be planned, safe and secure. You can always make a difference in your workplace – become an intrapreneur – and work your way up the corporate heirarchy. If you are good, you can find jobs of your interest and have a very rewarding career. In a nutshell -You will have a reasonably clear idea of where life is taking you.

Stress, uncertainty: On the other hand, a startup is extremely tiring, mentally draining, extremely frustrating and challenging in a very direction-less kinda way. You will realise how much easier it is to work for a reputed company, where somone always tells you what to do, and corrects you when you are doing things wrong..

You will constantly be haunted by the "what if" trauma. What if this doesnt work? what if you never raise funds? what if you're going in the wrong direction? what if you are wrong in giving up your job?

Will: You will essentially be putting your life on hold till things start to work and money starts to flow in at the startup, chances are – doing all-nighters at work will become a common phenomena, you will start caring less about your beard, and hair cuts will get less often, you won't not feel like joining your friends for movie and drinks on weekends, you will feel poor and will have to hope things work out for the best. Your loans will increase, and your parents will tell you you're doing a terrible mistake. Friends will advise you to work full time somewhere – and do the start-up part time.

Hole in the Pocket: You will start appreciating the value of money when you pick up the last few coins on your desk and count them to see if there is enough to pay for a decent meal. You will need to borrow money – and it will prick your ego everytime you do that. You will hope to get money 3 months from now, it will take a year. You have no idea when you will be able to pay it back.

Relationships: You stand a very good chance to screw every relationship you are in. If you are starting a company with people who are dear and near – be extremely careful. Startups are often extremely frustrating – and you are guaranteed to see fault in others. You WILL blame yourself AND your partner(s) for being irresponsible and not giving their 100% towards the company. The sad thing is – the foundation of a startup is 100% commitment from the self motivated founders. It is mandatory. Have documents in place that will make sure that you can come out of arguments easily.

Mind capital: Startups consume much more mind capital than the green notes. You will be completely immersed in building what is hopefully the next great company. It is important to receive a lot of emotional support. The best case scenario is when you have a friend of two who are also neck deep into building your company. You guys will bond closer, and grow stronger as you struggle your way through.

What do i stand to lose?: When things go wrong, it all boils down to what each person has to lose. The people with the fewest to lose when the startup folds up tend to leave the scene early. It is important to team up with people who are just as committed as you. The test is simple. What do you stand to lose? If all the core team members have sacrificed just as much as you – you will have a team that wont go bonkers when things are really bad.

Be Prepared: Know all the dangers, know all the pitfalls, and set out to do it only if you have it in you. It is no joy ride – and unless you are prepared to push it against all odds – its not gonna work. I promise.

Note: The next post is titled "Why you dont have a choice, but do a Start Up."

Lately, I seem to be engaging in debates with dear and near about a topic of no great significance, yet interesting at the same time – Maturity.

It all started when a girl I know remarked "He's soooo mature".

That was it.

What the bloody hell was she talking about? Not that the he in context was of any direct threat to me, nor that he was stealing the attention I demanded from the girl in context, but contextually speaking – how did she find out, or assume, that he, of all the other people surrounding her including me, was mature?

There started the debate on maturity and a flood of brutally honest comments on many of the acts I do that came across to her as "immature". But that's irrelevant here.

What is relevant however, is the reasoning behind the classification of something as MATURE. Scientific that I am, I decided to start the search by aggregating the facts that the self proclaimed more intelligent people might have to say. I decided to begin my search from dictionary.com . I was convinced beyond reasonable doubt that their explanations – "having reached full natural growth or development" and "ripe" were not the meanings she was talking about. The only reasonable explanation I found was "having reached maturation" – which puts us back in the recursive and non-conclusive search for the meaning of "mature".

To give the premise its deserved due diligence, I went on to search wikipedia with the keyword mature - and the topic was all about sexual maturity. I did not wish to think through the derivations of her comment that he was sooo mature in this context. But it all comes to this – all definitions of mature had the root "matur" (eg: mature = showing maturity) in them – thereby proving that the explanations were all "beating around the bush" with no clear segmented explanation as to what this big word meant.

Hence started my search of observing people, their body language (thanks to Allan and Barbara) and the context – each and everytime the word MATURE popped up. My observations, though crude and unscientific at times proved certain basics of the usage of the word.

1) No one has any idea what "mature" means.
2) Pessimistic, sad and uninteresting people with no interest in playing with the electronics at your host's house might come across as "mature" – but the curious engineering minds who wish to find out the function of every button on their 46" plasma display might come across as immature.
3) If you are a girl, and ur jaw drops at the sight of this particular man, he will come across as being mature to you – "maturity" is too big a usage for this phenomena.
4) If you admire someone – you will consider him more mature than you.
5) If you dislike someone – you will consider him less mature than you.
6) Maturity – is a term used by you to see where you stand in your own scale of self respect. Dissing someone in this game makes u feel good, supporting someone and terming them mature shows your desire to network with him.

That's all there is. The word means nothing in everyday conversations – proven by the fact that the people who use the word have no idea what it means. It's all relative and has no value but small talk.

Before the K.V.O school bus started doing its rounds, life at Ananganadi was relaxed and fun…

The to-do list was simple…wake up, wear the uniform, shine shoes with coconut oil (yeah, shoe polish wasnâ??t cool enough then), walk cautiously (so the dust wont stick onto the newly polished shoes) a kilometer to the Ananganadi bus stop, board Sarathi Bus, get off at Kanniampuram stop, and walk to my school – K.V.Ottapalam. I would reach just in time for the morning assembly, sing the songs loud and later try my luck at staying awake through the classes.

After the classes were over at 2:40 pm, we would walk in a disciplined line till the school gate and once out of our teacherâ??s view; race towards our bus stop. Sarathi bus didnâ??t have a trip during this time slot, so I had to take another bus back to Ananganadi – Shreyas Bus.

If the guys at Sarathi were my best pals, those at Shreyas were sworn enemies. I had traveled over 20 kms everyday in that same bus for months and neither the conductor nor the cleaner showed any signs of recognition. However they seemed to talk very nicely to my dad when he comes to Ananganadi Bus Stop to receive me. Pretenders!

The fare from Ottapalam to Ananganadi was 20 paise (0.4 cents) at the time. That was the concession ticket (CT) fare for students. Shreyas guys were really mean to the CT kids. They wouldnâ??t let us board the bus till all the full-ticket passengers had gotten in. They wouldnâ??t let us have a seat â?? yelling that they were for the full-ticket passengers and looked at us like we didnâ??t deserve to be on their bus.

One evening, while on my way back home on Shreyas, I found that I didnâ??t have 20 paise for the fare. I told the conductor that I didnâ??t have the money, and that I would get it from my dad when we reached Ananganadi. He passed some sarcastic remark and shouted at me. The rebel inside bravo junior was not to be challenged. Tit for tat – I said something back. The crowd laughed and the conductor was red with anger.

He blew his whistle, the bus came to a halt, and he ordered me out. Without hesitation, I marched out. It was the middle of nowhere and I had no idea how to reach home, but I did it anyway. I had to keep my pride. No rude bus conductor was gonna take it away from me.

I heard another whistle, and the bus started moving. It had gone just a few meters ahead of me, when it stopped again.  The conductor walked out and tried to make peace. I knew he was doing it because he didnâ??t want to piss my dad off. I wasnâ??t interested.

Soon I was thinking to myself – â??If he hadnâ??t tried so hardâ?¦ there was no way I was getting on that busâ??. I have to admit â?? I was relieved. I had no clue how I could get home. Unwantingly, I got back into the bus and was greeted by a few smiles. I made my way to an empty seat and sat on it. It was a big thing. CT students never sat on Shreyas seats â?? not even my K.V.O seniors.

I remember telling my dad about this incident in full detail and assured him that everything was fine now. He had told me later that night that the Shreyas people will be nice to me from then onwards. Wonder why he said that. Anyways, I was never questioned whenever I rested my 8 year old bottoms after this on Shreyas. I had shown them that I was not someone they could mess with.

Luckily for me, just weeks after that, Sarathi Bus started operating on our timingâ?¦ and I was back in familiar territory. Things were smooth once againâ?¦

Quickies: Talking of Ananganadi Bus Stop, there were only a few shops at the Bus Stop. Vasu Ettanâ??s provision shop, Keshu Vaidyarâ??s herbal shop, a tea shop, Rajan’s jewellers, Aidru’s provision shop across the road, a ration shop, Samsuâ??s saloon, and a tailor. Samsu loved to talk as he trimmed our hair – and had once nicked dad’s ear.

We had to walk across a kilometer of lush green fields, right under the towering mountain Anangan Mala to reach our Tharavadu (ancestral home) – when it rained, there would be knee-deep-mini-rivers between the paddy fields and we had to wade across them holding our shoes in our hands.

After school, we normally feast on Grannyâ??s rice, curries and papadams It was all fun and playâ?¦Absoluely unforgettable days…Nothing till now has matched the taste of Achammaâ??s (Granny) curries. And nothing is closer to my heart than Mattammaâ??s (Grannyâ??s sis) love and care.                

5 kids lived in a nice n cozy home on the bank of river peace.

The western kid had money and he financed everything, the Indian kid made the western kid’s money efficient, the middle-eastern kid had oil, the Chinese Kid made all the tools dirt cheap, the African grew food from the land, the eastern kid helped out with everything.

Few of them had bombs and all of them had AIDS. With what they had, they were leading a peaceful life… With the money, tools and oil, they made pasta. There was enough pasta for everyone. Everything was fine. If nothing went terribly wrong, they could live for a very long time.

But things went wrong… land was getting dry… resources were getting scarce… evil was begining to rise. Jealously, back-stabbing and making-use-of-the-other started gaining priority.

The Indian kid was blamed for stealing the western kid’s money. The western kid wanted the middle-east kid’s oil so he could have more money. The Chinese kid wanted more money for all his tools. The dispute had pissed off the middle-eastern kid and screwed the oil supply as he now wanted more money for it. African kid wanted money too, so he could grow more food – but stayed out of the dispute. Life started getting tougher. There was very little the land could give and food was getting scarce…

Soon, there was only 1 bowl of pasta left. The western kid showed his bomb and said he is taking the pasta and the middle-eastern kid’s oil. Indian and Chinese Kid smirked and showed off their bombs… the Eastern kid tried to make peace but gave up. The African kid told everyone that this wasn’t necessary – reminding them that they all had AIDS and they could resolve the food issue. The middle-eastern kid, sensing trouble, set fire to his oil tanks so the western kid couldnt have it…

Tension was mounting. Things got ugly… the kids started screaming at each other… they started pushing and fisting each other… There were broken bones and blood… things got out of hand..

No one lived to tell who set off their bomb first… but in seconds, the house exploded into a million burning bits…

I spent a lazy hour in my office… at 4 am yesterday watching Smallville… Clark Kent reveals his secret and proposes to girlfriend Lana, they get engaged… Clarke tells his trusted knows-it-all friend Chloe about his engagement. Later that day, Lana dies in a road accident.

Clark speaks to his Kryptonian Father who gives him a lil something to reverse time, so he could save Lana’s life.

Clark goes back to the day he was supposed to propose to Lana. He doesn’t propose to Lana fearing that's the reason why she died. He tells his trusted knows-it-all friend Chloe about his reversal of time and that he is re-living the present day… He surprises Chloe by telling her events that were supposed to happen in Chloe's day just seconds ahead of them actually happening. Chloe exclaims "What Clarke? Did you turn the earth on its axis?"

Not the class B scientist – but the dreamer inside me got tickled. That's something we have never witnessed!!! What would happen… if the earth were to turn in the opposite direction… just for a few hours…What would happen to our concept of time?

Time is not such a simple concept – the idea of traveling back and forth in time has always excited the smartest brains. Since all derivations of our understanding of time relates in some way to the formation of universe, I decided to start at the beginning – the mother of all beginnings – the Big Bang.

The concept that the whole universe came out of a big explosion and that smaller particles from that explosion (planets) are rotating around slightly larger particles (suns) in elliptical orbits; and that the whole thing is hanging in non existent ether – is confusing enough for me.

Big Bang? What exploded? Why? What was that thing doing anyway? Why was there such a explosive thing in the first place? What is the bigger space that contains the debris of the explosion – the universe? Will a larger thing explode and sweep away our universe?

Graduating students who are looking to get into well paying 9-5 jobs on planet earth – leave this blog now!!! – Once you get started on this route… you'll never be able to enjoy writing code and fixing bugs to increase the margins of the local telecom company by 10%. Buying a cozy home in the midst of towering housing blocks and a cool car that vanishes as a tiny dot on the crowded expressway won’t keep you happy either.

What surprises me equally is that why are all the pieces from this explosion so perfectly spherical? Surface tension? C’mon isn’t that only for liquids? The theory on how the planets were formed out of the Solar Nebula by the aggregation of dust particles around the sun fail to explain the perfectly spherical shape of the planets and even the hot-molten-core our planet earth has.

Even if you go ahead and argue that all the pieces from the Big Bang were molten (thereby explaining the surface tension and the hot core of the earth) – how did some such pieces become suns (light and heat emitting pieces comprising almost only hydrogen and helium) and others planets (cold rock comprising a lot more)? It doesn’t make sense to me – at least not yet.

UFO sightings are weird and unbelievable?!!! That’s the most normal thing anyone should expect! Imagine this: Big explosion – billions of small pieces… Life evolves on one such piece (earth) because it is at the right distance from a certain other heat & light emitting piece (sun). C'mon smarties – extrapolate.

Of course, there are millions of planets with life on them. We can be sure that we are technologically far behind our alien brothers… Cuz UFOs certainly seem to be flying at much higher speeds and they seem to be visiting other planets… They can speak to their families and friends in other galaxies for sure. Extrapolating human behavior in invading neighboring countries – aliens must have waged galaxial wars looking for resources on other planets.

But I still think that our discovery of the nuclear weapon is pretty cool. If only our religious and political brothers – who have them – understood that we gotta keep the earth safe and try to find a safer place to inhabit before we blow up our blue-green planet for really small disputes (looking from the big bang picture of course) involving "territorial-boundaries"… and our "blind-faith-on-possibly-imaginary-characters" (religion)…

Yes – coming back to nuclear weapons – To be able to create energy equivalent to one of those pieces from the explosion (sun) that we rely on for life – is really cool. Wonder if aliens have those… or do they still have to use laser guns… that kill on contact…like in War of the Worlds…that’s so…last solar century..

Forgot – where did we start? Ah yes… Time…. I got distracted… maybe later on that…

Curiosity got the better of me and had me
spend hours searching through the links on google looking for one thing – Meaning of Life. 

I was sure that I was not the only person to start thinking seriously about this question… Many would have wanted to know, probably because they were bored, sad, insane, distracted, testing their own IQs, or just plain pondering - What is the meaning of life? 

I figured there was no point going down the philosophical route often taken by many and come out of it feeling blessed to be alive and determined to cherish every moment of our life and blah blah blah… I wasn’t sad or looking for inspiration. I knew that there was life before me and that there will be life after me… Me trying to cherish my life wasn’t exactly the point I was trying to get to. I wanted to dig deeper…

Someone I respect pointed out – Lets begin by looking at what we see and call Life. Look at the way life has taken a physical form – leave out the plants and stuff… look at all the species that can walk or crawl… they all have a head with eyes, a heart that pumps blood, sensory systems connected to the brain, they all have food for energy, they all drink water, the respiratory and circulatory mechanisms span across almost all walking/crawling species…no matter how different in shape and size we are…. there are just so many similarities that evolution has not changed. The biggest debate of all times concerning evolution argues that “Monkeys don’t give birth to humans… monkeys give birth to monkeys even now…there is no evidence that life evolved”…the TREE OF LIFE is a mere hypothesis…humans existed from day 1. 

Curious me,, having forgotten the theory I learnt in my class XII biology and inspired by Carrie Bradshaw & a can of chilled redbull started thinking… “What would happen if a pretty monkey seduced and had se* (called genetic shuffling by biologists and considered an important evolutionary activity. Somehow all books only mention this within the same species) with a human?”…If enough monkeys and humans started doing that time and again… and their offspirings started doing each other… would a new species evolve? Evolution – fast forwarded! Try all combinations… 

I didn’t see any reason why that wouldn’t work. The light bulb in my head got brighter… was evolution a mere mistake committed time and again by kids of previous species defying rules set forth by their respected elders? 

I pondered and I pondered and I pondered some more… websites didn’t help… neither did the preview pages on amazon.com… I wasn’t trying to justify what I was doing with my life… I knew it made sense… Our planet is changing, so is life around the planet… We’re making trips to the space, and soon to nearby planets… we are talking to people on the other side of the planet like they were sitting next to you… our work was definitely not in question – it made sense… but… this was the ultimate question…what is the Meaning of Life… where was it all going? 

Or maybe, as the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy puts it… the answer is – 42